I just watched a programme on Channel 4 about Michael Jackson's last days, all the speculation into his sudden demise is really getting to me, i'm actually at the point of feeling disturbed with all this happening. I literally sat on my bed, pillow clutched in my hands and held it tight to me...i've not been reduced to such behaviour since I was in a really dark place mentally.

I will say, I can understand if he was addicted to certain painkillers and some of the prescription meds, one which is suspected he was taking is one i've taken in the past. It didnt work by taking one...and it got to a point I was popping over 5-6-7 at a time. I dont want to sound like a drama queen, but I do understand fully what its like in short term, which is why I was taken off the medication before it got out of control in the long term...which seeing what 'may' have happened...really got to me personally.

As for all the drama in his life, let it be. Whatever the rumours, whatever court cases and debt? Does it really matter to us, or is it the age of showbiz to pry into thier personal lives with such vulgarity into ruining a man and his life?

Michael Jackson, he was the world-wide, the planet and beyond this universe will recognise him as the invincible, best entertainer of all time. He did his part for us, now he's moved onto a place where he can't be hurt anymore physically and most importantly, mentally. My heart goes out to his family, his children and close friends who REALLY cared for him. I heard he was a lonely man and wanted nothing more than a close circle of friends to hold dear and support him through all his pain.

(Listen to Will You Be There, the full version where he speaks near the end...near enough broke my heart to hear him like that.)

I wish I could have been one of the friends physically, so I could be there for him through his happiness and sorrow. I want to be there for his family and his children but I know I can only offer words in this reality.

Rest in Peace, Michael. You are always in my heart and I will never let you part. xxx